Today is the final show of MSU Opera Theater's production of Leonard Bernstein's Candide. Having survived the rigorous rehearsal schedule, and the hours of personal practice, I'm going to miss this show. Candide, the simpleton who learns life isn't as simple as his mentor leads him to believe, has taught me so much about my personal life as well as my professional life. Making assumptions and taking things for face value are characteristics we both need and should avoid as performers, depending on the context. Trust is a value every performer needs; I have to say my colleagues in the cast, Melanie Helton (production/stage director), Maestro Raphael Jimenez (Friday's conductor), Maestro Nathaniel Parker (Sunday's conductor), my voice professor Richard Fracker, and countless others have all made it so easy to trust and confide in. I have learned so much over the last two years in my master’s program at MSU, one of which is the very lesson that Candide learns, that this is the best of all possible worlds, but it's the imperfections that make it the best of all possible worlds. While most of the productions with MSU College of Music have been near perfect, it is their uniqueness and imperfections that make them not only memorable, but blessings to be a part of, and to witness as an audience member.

To my fellow cast members, I wish them all the best in life, as they have blessed mine in more ways than they'll ever know. To Professor Helton, thank you for pushing me to places I could not even see myself. To Professor Fracker, thank you for helping me to trust, and learn that it is okay, "to love each other as we are." I hope the audience sees our love for this show today. Toi Toi Toi (the traditional opera equivalent to "break a leg" for actors) to everyone involved in today's closing performance of Candide, or Optimism!

For the past few days, I’ve been reflecting about the journey that we as a cast have made throughout the last three months. It has been such a joy to watch everyone in the cast take risks and grow. This led me to think about my own personal journey with Candide. My first experience with the music of Candide was as a freshman clarinet performance major at Iowa State University. During my first semester, the ISU Wind Ensemble was playing the Candide Overture transcription. I was a member of this ensemble, playing the Eb clarinet. I was immediately attracted to the rhythmic intensity of this piece, and remember being nervous about the cannon of the “Glitter and Be Gay” theme at the end of the overture. At that point in my life, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that down the road I would be singing the role of Cunegonde, who sings "Glitter and be Gay." Isn’t life odd?

My next experience with Candide came three years later, when I was exposed to “Make Our Garden Grow” in my choral literature course (I was no longer a clarinet performance major, but now a vocal music education major). I remember listening to this piece over and over again, and thinking about the text’s validity. “We’re neither pure nor wise nor good. We’ll do the best we know. We’ll build our house and chop our wood, and make our garden grow.” As a senior in college, these words helped me to come to terms with the fact that I didn’t have all the answers I would need to succeed out in “the real world,” but gave me comfort knowing that all I could do was “the best I knew.”

Today I’m finding hope in these words again. As we take the stage this weekend, I know that we will do the best we know. No questions.

Saturday cast performing

Last night for the first time, the cast in which I appear, sang the entire show with the orchestra. It was just absolutely awesome -- the lights, the set, the projections, the orchestra, the maestro, and my colleagues. It is so incredible to be on stage, to look around and be overwhelmed with the talent level, from freshmen to doctoral students. MSU is a gold mine of incredible singers. Auditions for shows at MSU are intense and have only gotten more intense as incoming students get better and better.

The chorus is absolutely phenomenal; they are collectively a cast member. Their role is just as important as Candide or Cunegonde. Some of the best singing comes from this group of charismatic singers. They have worked so hard, and it definitely shows.

The final number, "Make Our Garden Grow," is the third famous piece next to the Overture and Cunegonde's number, "Glitter and Be Gay." Choruses do this number in concerts with piano, but to hear it with full orchestra and in the way that Bernstein intended is something celestial. Words to describe how this music floods your entire spirit are hard to come by, but to experience it firsthand is not only a rare opportunity but a transporting opportunity.

I have to say the production team on Candide has some of the most talented people. Between the rehearsal on Monday evening and the rehearsal on Tuesday evening, the set and lights were completely evolved into a more spectacular sight. All of the colors and lighting effects being used are just amazing. It makes me curious and excited to see what is in store for tonight's rehearsal. I think these kinds of surprises are great for the audience. Every show is a new show, and the audience at each performance gets an opportunity to see and hear something unique to that evening's performance.

I hope those who enjoy the show come back to see and hear parts that they might not have experienced their first time. I'm off to support my colleagues in the other cast for their dress rehearsal tonight. They are so incredible. I'm blessed to have such amazing colleagues. I'm learning so much from them, and I'll no doubt learn a ton more tonight.

MSU Opera Theatre presents Leonard Bernstein's Candide, a satirical, comic operetta on March 28 thru March 30, 2008. Candide tells the story of a naïve young man , who is determined to follow his tutor's philosophy that everything that happens is for the better because they live in "the best of all possible worlds." Expelled from his homeland, Candide faces countless hardships as he travels from Europe to South America and back again. Although he is captured, beaten, robbed and repeatedly torn from the woman he loves, he clings to his optimism. Pictured is the spectacularly stirring choral finale, "Make Our Garden Grow." Realizing what Candide discovers about our world--which is contrary to the myopic optimism he has been taught--the finale will bring a tear to the viewer's eye at the point when the orchestra fades and the unaccompanied voices rise in crescendo.

The cast of Candide performing during a dress rehearsal

I'm on my way over to the theatre for our second orchestra dress rehearsal of Candide. Last night went so well that our conductor Raphael Jimenez asked, "Hey Melanita (his nickname for me), how come we are so relaxed?" When I thought about it, it's true. The cast, crew, and orchestra have done their jobs and we are filling in details all over the place. Candide is coming together right on schedule.

Having worked on several projects in the 1980s with the composer, Leonard Bernstein, I think that it is such a thrill to be living with his magnificent music once again. Last night, the finale, "Make Our Garden Grow," brought me to tears. Oh, well, I'm off to look at new additions to the set. I hope to see a lot of people in the seats this weekend!

Left to right: Jonathan Kirkland (Captain/Maximillian), Nathaniel Peake (Candide), Elizabeth Toy (Cunegonde), and Lauren Auge (Old Lady)

As a singer, it is always interesting to move from piano rehearsals to orchestral rehearsals. In a lot of ways, it's like singing your same part to completely different music underneath you. All of a sudden, a flute part will soar above the strings. Bernstein was a master of colors and rhythm, and this orchestra is perfect for this piece. I'm telling all of my friends, even if you don't think you like opera, come for the orchestra.

The rehearsal went so well; I'm excited to get in the MSU Concert Auditorium on Thursday. It's difficult to work without a set in staging because you have to imagine the timing of climbing stairs and ladders. Come Thursday, I'll get to experience that for real. Having worked with the orchestra some and getting to be in the performance hall on Thursday means this show is almost here. I wonder what the set is going to look like in real life. I've seen a sketch/model, but we'll get to see it in 2 days! YAY!

My friend and colleague David Theis, who is also playing Candide, is sounding incredible. He is such an inspiration to me in so many ways. We were roommates for the College of Music China Exchange '07, and we got a chance to bond. But even as a master’s student, I'm learning so much from him. I can't wait to see him on Saturday.